:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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