So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
