how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Randomize
