No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
