Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
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