this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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