I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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