Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
