Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
and she was petting her beer can
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
