so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
