so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
