he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We just shotgunned beers for America
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
