I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
