I feel great
I just peed on a car
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
