If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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