Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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