what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
