jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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