Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
