I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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