i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
its not stalking. its research.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
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