This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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