Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
