I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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