I think im going to throw up on grandma
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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