pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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