we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
