I got chris browned last night
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
