weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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