I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Shame - the story of my life.
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