yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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