I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
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I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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