We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
