you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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