dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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