i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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