His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
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