my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
