So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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