You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
