You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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