This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
