haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
