my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
