I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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