Your face is a jimmy john
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize