$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
