I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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