I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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