Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
