Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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