So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
