i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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