I'd wear matching sweaters with you
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I could fuck to npr.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize