I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i came on her dog
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
