I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
you never un-have a 4some
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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