I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
