When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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