It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
