I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Randomize
