my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
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Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
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If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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