Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
