dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
