the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
