Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
