i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
